


Strong Enough To Break

by sparkinside (boomersoonerash)



Category: Hanson (Band)
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Angst, Dysfunctional Family, F/M, Family Secrets, Gay Male Character, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Sad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2004-10-05
Updated: 2005-01-19
Packaged: 2019-03-29 13:58:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13928520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boomersoonerash/pseuds/sparkinside
Summary: It's been years since Taylor died but Brynn just wants answers on what happened to him.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Oh man this is the original The Past Is Just Goodbye and you can see just how much it's really different.

Brynn sat on her couch and sighed. Tears were in her eyes as she looked at the picture of her and Taylor. She was three and Taylor was twenty one. It was three months before Taylor had killed himself.

Natalie slowly opened the door to the Hanson's house and saw her fourteen year old niece Brynn on the couch crying. "Brynn what's the matter?"

Brynn looked up and saw Natalie. "It's been eleven years today since Taylor killed himself."

Natalie stopped in her tracks sighing. How could she have forgotten. She slowly went over to Brynn and sighed.

"You know Natty I don't even remember him. Everyone else does. Zoe and Ezra have tapes of him. Avery,Jess,and Mackie have real memories of him and I have nothing," Brynn said as she cried harder.

Natalie pulled Brynn into a hug. "Ezra doesn't remember him that well either even with the video."

"But Ezra has that. I don't!" Brynn spat angrily. She got up and ran upstairs slamming her door.  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jessica looked at her mother and smiled. They were having a mother daughter time. "Mom you really need to come see Porter. He is getting so big."

"I'll try honey but it's hard. I'm busy taking Brynn to counseling," Diana said as she took a bite of her food.

Jessica sighed. "I don't see why she needs to go to counseling. Why can't she just get over Tay's death? Everyone else has?"

"Who knows Jess? Her counselor says she feels that way she does because she has no real memories of Taylor."

"But that would be best. I mean mom she wouldn't want to remember the way Taylor was in his last months. He was too depressed. It would hurt her to remember that."

"I know but Brynn just wants to be like the rest of you guys and remember him by something."  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Walker arrived home and saw Natalie in the kitchen. "Nat what are you doing here?"

"I came to get Ezra's book bag," Natalie said looking at Walker.

"Oh," Walker said as he sat on the couch.  
"Walker can I ask you a question? Do you have any video tapes of Taylor and Brynn together before Taylor killed himself?"

Walker thought for a moment. "No. After getting the tapes made for Ezra and Zoe. We decided to throw the rest away. It was painful to go through them."

"Oh," Natalie said as she picked up Ezra's book bag and left.  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Brynn who was sitting on the stairs felt betrayed. They had gotten rid of the rest of the videos. Maybe ones that had just her and Taylor. How could they?  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Isaac turned on the t.v. and laid down closing his eyes. Today was the anniversary of Tay's death. He heard the phone ring and reluctantly answered."Hello."

"Ike it's me Brynn. Can I stay at your place tonight?"

Isaac heard his youngest siblings tone and knew that today had been rough for her as well. "Sure just make sure it's okay with mom and dad."

"Okay," Brynn said on the other end as she went downstairs.

Isaac heard Brynn leave but she was back within minuets.

"Dad's bringing me. Mom's out with Jessie."

"Okay," Ike said as he hung up. Out of all the siblings him and Brynn were the ones who had taken Tay's death the hardest. Him because Taylor had come to him for help and he had shunned Tay away and Brynn because she could not remember Taylor and felt bad.


	2. Chapter 2

Brynn knocked on Isaac's door and waited for him to answer. Her dad had just dropped her off.

Isaac answered the door and saw Brynn. He moved over to let her in. "Let me guess bad day."

Brynn laughed a little. "That's an understatement. It was horrible."

"How so?" Isaac asked as he sat down on the couch.

"It's as if no one cares that eleven years ago today Taylor killed himself. I mean mom and Jessie went out to dinner,Avery is in France at a fashion show,Mackie is probabli drunk,and Zoe who the heck knows about her."

"They care Brynn. They just have different ways of showing it."

Brynn sighed,"I guess your right but on top of all of that I found out that after Dad made the tapes for Zoe and Ezra he threw the rest away. Some could of had videos of just me and Taylor."

"Brynn I'm sorry they did that," Ike said hugging Brynn.

"Yeah me too," Brynn sighs as she gets up. "I'm going to bed. I'm tired."

"Okay Brynn," Ike watched Brynn leave then sighed. "No Brynn they didn't get rid of the tapes I took them.  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Avery sighed as he cell phone rang. People knew not to phone her during fashion shows. "Hello."

"Avie it's me Brynn."

"Brynn what do you want?" Avery asked agitated. Brynn knew not to call her during this.

"Do you realize what today is?" Brynn asked sharply.

"Of course I do. How could I forget that my brother killed himself eleven years ago today," Avery whispered.

"Then why are you out at some fashion show in Paris instead of in Tulsa with your family?" Brynn asked angrily.

"Because my business comes before family right now," Avery said.

Brynn felt tears come to her eyes. Avery could be so cruel. She slowly hung up the phone.

Avery heard Brynn hang up. She hadn't meant it the way it came out. She felt tears begin to form in her eyes. The only reason she wasn't in Tulsa today was because it would bring back bad memories of that dreaded day.  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Isaac awoke as he felt the warmth of the sun coming through his window. He heard yelling from the kitchen and knew Brynn was awake.

Brynn heard Isaac enter the living room. "But mom I don't want to go back home. You guys don't care about Taylor. I want to move in with Ike," Brynn said into the phone.

Isaac's eyes nearly bugged out of his head. He jerked the phone away from Brynn.  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Diana sighed. An hour after getting off the phone with Ike. An agreement was made that Brynn could live with Isaac for three months. "God Walker. I can't believe Brynn."

"I can," Walker said as he looked at Diana. "She's right. We don't care about Taylor's death."

Diana let Walker's words seep in and knew they were true. She felt a tear go down her cheek.  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mackie looked at the woman beside him. She was a chick he met last night. He was drunk and remembered nothing.

Megan rolled over and smiled. "Hey my beautiful husband."

Mackie's heart stopped. Husband? They had gotten married?

"I guess you don't remember last night. We got married," Megan said as she kissed Mackie on the lips.

Mackie pulled away from Megan. "I'm in deep shit."  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Zoe heard a knock on her bedroom door and answered it. "Mom why did you knock?"

"Get dressed. We are going to go somewhere," Diana said as she looked at Zoe.

Zoe reluctantly got dressed then went downstairs. She looked at her mom and dad puzzled. Where were they going?  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Zac sat next to Taylor's grave. "Sorry I couldn't come here yesterday. I was in Georgia with Kate. I just came to tell you we all miss you especially Brynn. Well I guess I'm going to go," Zac said as he turned to leave. He saw his parents pull up and he was confused. They hadn't been here since the funeral.


	3. Chapter 3

Diana got out of the car and immediately felt sick. She then spotted Zac and sighed.

Zac looked confused and waited for his parents to come over.

Diana waited on Walker to get out and when he finally did she walked over to the grave and where Zac was.

"What are you guys doing here?" Zac asked them and Zoe.

"That's what I want to know," Zoe said as she looked down at Taylor's grave stone.  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Brynn looked up at Ike. "So they're letting me stay?"

"Yes,for three months," Isaac answered her.

"Good."

"Brynn why didn't you ask me first though?" Ike asked as he poured coffee.

"Because I knew you would say no," Brynn said as she smiled deviously.

Isaac just shook his head. Brynn was so stubborn something she got from Taylor.  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Megan looked at Mackie. "What do you mean your in serious shit."

"I mean that if my parents find out they are going to kill me," Mackie said getting up.

"Oh," Megan said as she sighed. She was happy to be a married woman. "Listen, Mackie maybe we should get our marriage annulled."

"No...I don't know," Mackie said as he put his head in his hands.

His life was screwed up and had been ever since Taylor did what he did. Right now Mackie blamed Taylor for everything.  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jessica heard Porter crying and immediately got out of bed. She had just picked up Porter when the phone rang.   
"Hello."

"Jess it's me Avie."

"Avery hey. What are you doing calling me?" Jessica asked. Avery hadn't called her in two months.

"Brynn called me last night. I said stuff I regret. I was hoping you would tell Brynn I was sorry."

"Of course I will," Jessica said rolling her eyes.

"Thanks Jess," Avery said hanging up.

Jessica hung up and sighed. She would not tell Brynn anything. Brynn deserved to be disappointed and upset.  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Zac looked at Zoe as his parents stood by Taylor's grave. "Zoe I went through the things you left at my apartment.I found pot."

Zoe looked at Zac."Oh.I guess you know now that I do drugs."

"Yeah I guess I do Zoe. I'm not going to tell mom and dad but only if you promise to stop doing drugs."

"Zac I can't promise that. It's not that easy," Zoe said running a hand through her hair.

Zac just rolled his eyes.  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Brynn sat on Isaac's patio and looked down. She had invited her best friend Gideon over. "So what do you think?"

"I think your parents are crazy for letting you move in with your brother," Gideon said as he smiled at Brynn.

"Well what else were they supposed to do?" Brynn asked as she looked eyes with Gideon.

Gideon shrugged his shoulders. "You'll never guess who I heard Joshua was going out with."

"Joshua the fag?" Brynn asked and laughed.

"Yep."

"Who?"

"Ezra," Gideon said laughing.

Brynn almost fell out of her seat. Her thirteen year old nephew was not gay. It couldn't be Ezra.  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ezra looked at Joshua and smiled. "I love being with you Josh."

"I love being with you too," Josh said as he kissed Ezra on the lips.

Ezra pulled away from Joshua. "My mom will be home soon. I don't want her to catch us kissing."

"Okay,Ezra I understand," Joshua said as he sighed. Ezra hadn't came out to his family yet.

Ezra knew Joshua was upset. "Josh it's just too hard to tell them. They would never understand."

Josh looked down. "I know. It just seems like since you not telling them that your ashamed of me."

"I'm not ashamed of you," Ezra said as he kissed Josh's hand. He loved Josh with all his heart. His family just wouldn't understand.


	4. Chapter 4

Jessica heard her husband come into Porter's nursery.

Eric smiled at Porter. "Who called?"

"Avery, she wanted me to tell Brynn something."

"Are you going to tell Brynn?" Eric asked his wife.

"Nope," Jessica said as she walked out of the nursery. She hated when Eric wanted to play twenty questions with her.

Eric followed Jessica out of the room. She wasn't going to get away that easy.  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ezra sighed as he heard a knock on his bedroom door. Josh had left a few minuets ago.

Brynn waited for Ezra to answer his bedroom door. When he did she barged in. "Ez can I talk to you?"

"Sure," Ezra said as he sat on the bed.

"Gideon told me something. I don't want to believe it but apart of me is saying it's true. He said you were dating Joshua. Are you gay?"

Ezra swallowed. He could kill Gideon. "Yes I am."

Brynn sighed as she sat on the bed hugging Ezra. "I accept you Ez."

"Thanks," Ezra said hugging his aunt. "But don't tell the rest of the family. Promise me you won't Brynn."

"I promise," Brynn said as she saw Ezra begin to cry. "Ezra why are you crying?"

"Because now that someone knows I feel like a weight has been lifted off of me."  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Natalie went over to Ike's. She had to see him. She smiled when he opened the door. "Can we talk?"

"Sure," Ike said letting her in.

"I think Brynn should know why Taylor killed himself," Natalie said locking eyes with Isaac.

"I don't know. I'm afraid if she knew he was gay and felt ashamed of it and that's why he killed himself, she might think differently."

"Ike, Brynn could surprise us all and actually not think differently of him," Natalie said as she sat on Ike's couch.

"True," Ike said softly.  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mackie looked at Megan. "I figured it out."

Megan looked at Mackie. "What?"

"How to not get in trouble. We'll tell my parents were engaged and plan on getting married in a month. No one will have to know were already married."

Megan smiled then hugged Mackie. "That's wonderful."

Mackie smiled as Megan hugged him. He was so smart.  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Diana turned to Walker as they walked back to the car. "Zoe can you go over to Zac's tonight. Your dad and I have stuff to do."

Zoe looked at Zac who nodded. "Sure."

Zac sighed. What did his parents have to do? What was wrong with them?

Walker got in the car and turned to Diana. "Are you sure you want to let Brynn see the videos we gave Ike to keep.?"

Diana just nodded. It was time for Brynn to see Taylor when he was happy and sad. "Some of them have her and Taylor. It's only fair."  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Avery looked at her boyfriend and sighed. "I'm going to fly to Tulsa."

Jeremy looked at Avery confused. "Why?"

"Because I don't trust Jessica to tell Brynn that I'm sorry."

"Oh," Jeremy said looking down.

"I'm sorry."

"I know you are Avery," Jeremy said as he hugged her.  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jessica turned to Eric. "Why are you following me?"

"I want to know why you aren't going to tell Brynn."

"Because she was everyone's favorite. Well she was Taylor's favorite. After she was born Taylor stopped paying attention to me and loved her more. She deserved to feel like I did," Jessica said as tears went down her cheeks.


	5. Chapter 5

Brynn left Ezra's room quickly and sighed. It had been a very eventful night.She turned and looked directly at the room in front of her. It was the room Taylor died in. She slowly entered as tears filled her eyes.

Brynn felt the hot tears come down her cheek. She cut on the light and went to the closet. The closet was full of clothes now. There was one box on the floor. She bent down and got the stuff out of it.

It was a bunch of letters. Some were for Taylor others from Taylor. Brynn wrestled with her mind on taking them and won. She put the letters in her pocketbook and went downstairs calling a cab.  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Isaac looked at Natalie. "I guess we should tell her then. She should be home soon."

"Okay then I'll wait here," Natalie said sitting on the couch.

Ike sighed as he heard a knock on the door. He went to answer it. He was surprised to see that it was his parents. 

"What are you guys doing here?"

Diana walked in and looked down. "We're going to show Brynn those tapes we gave you."

Ike smiled a little. "That's good. In a way I'm glad you guys came. Natalie and I are going to tell Brynn the truth about why Taylor killed himself."

"You will do no such thing," Walker said as loud as he could. "There is no way Brynn is going to know that her brother killed himself because he was a gay fag."

Diana's eyes nearly popped out of her head when she heard Walker say that about Taylor. "Walker she needs to know. It's only right."

"What's only right?" Brynn asked as she walked in  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Jessica that is mean," Eric said as he looked at his wife. He felt disgusted with her.

"I don't care," Jessica said as she wiped away her tears. "It was mean of Taylor to love Brynn more than me."

"So he loved Ezra more than you."

"Ezra was his son. He had a right to love Ezra more than me," Jessica said as she walked out of her house slamming the door. She had to get away from Eric.  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Brynn sat down in shock. She had just been told that Taylor was gay. She looked at her parents,Ike,and Natalie then took off into her room.

Brynn slammed her door. How could they have kept that from her?

She took the letters out of her pocketbook and began to read them Brynn almost dropped the third letter. She had to read it over and over again.

Dear Patrick  
It's me,your Taybear. It's horrible here. I don't know why I agreed to come back. Oh...Wait...yes I do. I came back so I could see our daughter. The one my parents so horribly ripped away from us. They renamed her. She is no longer Lila Jane. They call her Brynn Jade. Can you believe that? I can't. Well I have to go Natalie is coming.  
Love your Taybear forever.  
Taylor

Brynn dropped the letter and felt confused. What the hell was going on? She looked at the address on the letter. "I bet Patrick would know."  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Shouldn't we go in there. She's been in there for over an hour," Diana said getting worried about her daughter.

"Let's give her a few more minuets. She just needs to be alone," Natalie said as she put an arm around Diana.

"I told you guys not to do this. But no one listened to me did they?" Walker said angrily.

Ike sighed then went towards Brynn's room. "I'm going to get her."

Natalie, Walker and Diana all got up when Ike yelled.

"What is it?" Natalie asked getting there first.

"She's gone," Ike said picking up the letter on the floor.

"What? Where did she go?" Diana asked confused. Why would her baby girl just runaway.

Ike handed the letter to Diana. "To find Patrick."

Walker and Diana both read the letter. Their faces went as pale as a ghost.

"Natalie how did she get these?" Isaac asked.

"I don't know," Natalie said looking down. "I guess she found them at my house."


End file.
